So, Jack has a lot of energy. We all know that. Well, at preschool that energy is not really appreciated. He is supposed to do what he is told and follow directions which is also hard for him. I have had a few talks with his teacher and she even thinks he has a few signs of ADHD (yeah, hard for me to swallow but it makes sense). Landon, Jack's teacher, and I came up with a few changes that can be made at home to help him calm down a little bit and focus better.
-Limit the amount of tv we watch. We were watching like 4+ hours a day...I know, a lot, but I never really thought about it. I now only allow the kids to watch 1 hour (if that) a day. Surprisingly it hasn't been hard one bit. We are reading a ton (like, my jaw is so sore at the end of the day from reading so much), we are playing with toys that haven't been played with in a long time, we go to the park, and bake cookies, and sing songs, and the time seems to go by so fast. The kids would rather play with toys now or read books instead of watching tv. It has been a really nice change. I also rewarded myself with this little beauty I found on KSL. Since we aren't watching a lot of tv the kids needed something to keep them entertained...right?
-Limit Jack's computer time. I used to let him play the computer whenever he wanted and even though it wasn't a ton it was enough to fire up his brain and make him really hyper. Now I only let him play for 15 minutes and never in the mornings before school starts. This one hasn't been hard at all because all we have to do is hide the computer and he doesn't even think about it.
-Have Jack take naps. During Avery's nap time was when Jack was watching a lot of tv and playing the computer because I didn't want him to wake Avery up. I never tried putting Jack down for a nap because he was so over stimulated and it was such a fight to get him to sleep. Ever since we have limited the tv and computer he falls asleep on his own reading books and sleeps for 3 hours! I also didn't want him to take naps before because he would go to bed so late but again I think because he isn't over stimulated he goes to bed right at nine and sleeps all night long. He used to wake up every night when he wasn't taking naps so I think he was just over tired.
-Be more consistent with discipline. Now, I am not the best disciplinarian I admit, but I realize the kids really do better if they know there are consequences if they do something wrong. For the first couple days after we started really cracking down on disciplining, the kids were in time out a lot. Now all I have to do is threaten them with time out and they stop. I have found that life is a lot easier when I am in charge and when I don't let the kids run my life. (What have I been doing for the last three years...)
Anyways, I wanted to write all this down because this no tv thing has really been a great thing for our family. Jack is a lot more calm and we get a lot more done around the house without the distraction of the tv. And probably the best thing that has come of this is that Jack's preschool teacher has seen a lot of improvement in his behavior. Yay! I was going to do everything I could to not have my child the one always in timeout or the one who always gets picked on in school because he is always getting in trouble with the teacher. Maybe he does have ADHD who knows, but I know now that tv and computer make his little brain fire even faster and it was really hard for him to concentrate. I cannot tell you how much easier Jack has become. I actually feel that I have a normal child that I can take to the store, or to the library, or to the park, and that I can control him. It's a good feeling.
6 comments:
Thank you for posting this! I had read somewhere when Kenna was a baby that TV is the reason for an increase in children with ADHD (and as a side note, I think a lot of children are incorrectly diagnosed with ADHD because parents don't try to do things like what you are doing first). Anyway, as Kenna has gotten older and with Laney, I forgot all about this. And my kids watch too much tv. Especially with winter coming on. I need to be better, and I really needed that reminder.
Glad it's going better with Jack! And I bet those three hour naps are heavenly!
Can't wait to see you guys on Saturday! Oh and I LOVE your abc poster!
Yea---I bet that feels so great to see that kind of improvement! We do the "no tv" thing too--well, for the most part. We don't get any channels of any sort so that isn't a temptation at all. I think if we had PBS, I would be tempted to always turn on "just one show" you know and then it would stay on! All we have are movies around here and about a year ago we changed things up a bit because the boys always "expected" to watch a movie each day. Now they are special treats to watch one and they never ask for them because they aren't part of the routine . We do "family movie nights" every Friday night and the kids LOVE that. We do popcorn, treats, etc But really, that is about it. I love that they are just learning to find things to entertain themselves during the week rather than having the tv do it. I'm sure it might change a bit once Winter hits and they can't be outside as much. But usually even in the winter I have "no tv days" every other day. And if I find that I am getting too lazy and always turning it on for them so I can have a break, I just unplug it and that seems to solve the problem!
Another thing you might consider trying before you test further into ADHD is his diet. I've read a lot of research that says ADHD is getting incorrectly diagnosed TON these days--it's really not ADHD, but just too much refined sugar, processed foods, preservatives, etc in their diet. Before kids try different medications, they should just try eliminating certain things from their diet.
There have been phases with Emerson where he has been really hard and so I've tried to make a conscious effort in what we are feeding him--I haven't been extreme, but I have tried to limit a lot of sugars if possible. Switching to whole wheat bread, pasta, tortillas, etc and trying to just eliminate as much processed food and snacks and treats as possible. I really think it's helped. Anyways, you may want to give that a try too. I know there are books and stuff if you want to go extreme on it. But a lot of kid's behaviors have made dramatic turns by just getting rid of some of the preservatives that are in so many of our foods. Let me know if you try anything that works!
And P.S. I LOVE the ABC poster! I will have to put that on my project list. So cute!
And I've been meaning to pop you a note---tell Landon thanks for that recommendation about the refinancing he put up on facebook awhile back. Matt's been going through him to get our place refinanced and he's been so great to work with.
talk to you later!
WOW...sorry that was such a novel. I had no idea!
You really are super mom. Making all these things, changing your parenting/daily routine and having it be an instant success. I'm seriously going to come to you for any issues I have with my kids. Oh, and for all the projects I want to do but don't know how. I can't believe how crafty you are. You make everything look so simple to do and they're always amazing.
Hey Kelsi,
I have a bunch of books about brain develoment and age appropriate media/stimulation. I used them when I taught at BYU and first grade. I remember having to talk to parents about the same types of things quite often, it was always awkward and I know that some of the parents were offended by my observations of thier child's behavior and that was really hard for me. But those parents who did take some extra steps to change things up at home had children who made great progress and ended up doing very well without any medication or doctor's diagnosis. It's true that ADHD is over/misdiagnosed. If you ever want to borrow any books or resources about preschool development, let me know. I remember in college I read dozens of studies about the effects of TV/Screen time on the development of young children, that's why Browen has always been so limited. Sometimes I feel like SUCH a WEIRDO when I tell people that Browen doesn't watch any TV (except Barney once a week or so, and sometimes football when Blake can talk me into it --- once a month). I am glad that things are working out. Jack is bright and the changes you have made have worked so well for him because he is a quick learner. Luv You Guys.
Kelsi, you and Landini are doing great! Sometimes the hardest thing in parenting is finding out you could do something different and then doing it. Proud of you guys for taking steps to helping little Jack and Avery. Jack is so bright and I think that this little change like you said will make huge differences. I had no idea either that kids brains get overstimulated, especially in the early years from TV. Mandi had to explain to me how it worked. No TV and lots of sleep to process the already stimulating things they see like a car moving or other daily things. It has taken me two years to try to get use to this concept and still I naturally want to watch TV with Browen because it was how I was raised. TV is just too fast for their brains to handle, maybe too fast for our brains to handle too!! Again, I think you guys are great parents and good on you for taking initiatives to helping Jack succeed. Love you guys
-Blake
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